I am a survivor- a miracle I prefer to call myself. You see, at the age of 30, I had everything (or so I thought), a college education, successful teaching career of almost 9 years, new home, five year old son and brand new baby girl, (what I thought at the time) was a good marriage- but it all changed....in a split second! I can honestly say today that I would never ever-not for one second- go back to my old life. The lessons I have learned have been priceless! On December 2, 2002 I suffered a massive stroke-affecting both the left side of my brain and cerebellum. From that day I spent 6 weeks in the hospital- where I "relearned" everything-with only the left side of my body in semi-working order. I received excellent care...from the time I was in the hospital up until November 2003 – at which point I experienced (what I believed at the time) complete and total devastation.
The one person I trusted most-and had loved all of my adult life made, perhaps, the biggest mistake of his life. He chose to break his solemn promise to me, despite our sacred wedding vows we had promised to each other back on august 6, 1994 before god, family, and friends. The father of my children left me. And I know that there will be a day, in god's time, when he will be held accountable for those selfish choices he made back then. I have forgiven, as I’ve been commanded to do- but friends I do not have not- nor will I ever- forget! But what I now so clearly realize is that I was never truly alone, because my god-he was with me every step of the way! He has never forsaken me, never broken any promise to me. I now realize that my great love is not found in any man on earth- but in Christ my father! Each day often brings physical pain, suffering, and weariness- but I am found like new in Christ - my savior. He is able to take me (with my broken self-and limitations) - and use me to share with others the love and faithfulness that only he can and does provide. One of the most awesome gifts I have ever been given is my children (two on this earth and one in heaven).
I will always cling to those feelings I first experienced when I had them both in my womb- the evidence of a tiny one inside- moving and kicking... and then first seeing their precious faces, holding them close as they were completely dependent on me - all of you mothers know exactly what I'm describing. But as much as I love my children- they are only a gift from god. And friends- god feels so much more than that about each of us-you and me. Isn’t that amazing? A word of advice- enjoy each day to its fullest. Appreciate what you have and be thankful for what you had-because it can and probably will change-in an instant- despite any control you may think you have. I know because it happened to me. learn to recognize those few in your life who you really can trust- but beware- there will be those manipulative individuals who will try to trick and confuse you- want to make you stumble- for their own selfish gain. There is and has been only one constant in my life- Christ Jesus- my lord! For without him, I truly am- nothing. But with him – I am.
